Friday, October 5, 2012

What the...? - And pulled from the archives.

Bink: "Mom.. Mooom.. MOM!!! HEY! LOOK AT ME!!" *serious face*... "It's a 7.. 4.. I SAID IT'S A SEVEN FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *glaring at me*

Me: O.O.... "but.. I don't know what that means."

Bink: *rageface*.. Lowers her voice and snarls "LOOK. AT. ME. IT'S A SEVEN. FOUR. A SIX. A SEVEN. FOUR. SEVEN. FOUR. SEVEN. FOUR. SEVEN. FOUR. SEVEN. FOUR. (repeat 1298423987234 times)"

Me. -_-
Why is it the kids are quiet and calm until I go into the bathroom.. Then bink starts kicking and hitting the door screaming and sobbing "MOMMY COME BAAAAACK! MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!!" Then Jordan starts knocking on the door saying "Mom! Bink is sitting on Figero!" (the cat) Then she flips her shit because Triston decides to play disciplinarian and puts her in her room for a "time out".. Then Jordan comes back to the door. "MOM! Triston's picking on Charleigh!!" Then Triston "No I'm NOT! I'm trying to teach her a lesson!!!" Then Charleigh "TRISTON DID IT MOM!!! TRISTON DID IT!!!! MOMMY!!! MOM!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!"

When I walked out of the room Bink was sitting at the table sipping apple cider and singing quietly to herself. Triston was alternating sitting on the couch reading Harry Potter and helping Jordan put away dishes that were too high for him to reach, and Jordan was emptying the dishwasher.. How the HELL did it all unravel in under a minute!??!

And here I thought it'd be so nice to pee by myself. *eyeroll*


And now, for your viewing pleasure.. A very old blog I have to pull from the archives and share. This was July 2009.

The difference between boys and girls.

This is how the conversation went..

T. "Mommy, how come Faith doesn't have a bladder?"

Me: "Faith has a bladder"

T. "No she doesn't, only boys have bladders."

Me: "Everyone that pees has a bladder"

Quiet, while I ponder his statement.....

Me: "Triston, did you mean penis? Why doesn't Faith have a penis?"

T. " I dunno. What's a penis."

Me: *pointing in the general direction* "You know, your dinger"

T. "Ooooh. Yeah. Why doesn't Faith have a penis?"

Me: "Because she's a girl"

T. "Oh, because she's.. 'different'"

(meaning because she has autism)

Me: *trying so hard not to laugh* "No, just because she's a girl, boy parts and girl parts are different"

T. "Why don't girls have penises?"

Me: "Because then we wouldn't be girls, we'd be boys"

T. "Oh, so you are all.. 'different'"

*yes he did air quotes*

Me: "Yes son, boys and girls are ALL different"



So, it's been awhile, huh?

Lots of things.. Firstly.. All beauty related things.. will be over on my other blog. Lipstick Ninja
so.. yeah.. go check over thurr.. If I ever get around to writing it again.. *fingers crossed*.. This particular blog will be focused on. Well, shenanigans.. My kids, family, you know.. that sort of thing. If that's not your cuppa'tea no problem.

I guess, maybe a refresher is in order...

The players:

The Oldest.. We call him Josh. He'll be 12 in december. He's severely autistic and non-verbal.

The Albino: We call this one Triston. He'll be 12 in may. He's autistic, very smart, was being bullied at his middle school so we now homeschool him. More on that later.

Freckles: We call him Jordan. He'll be 10 in November He's a mama's boy through and through, that bit of info will be important later, I'm sure. He's also homeschooled.

The Fairy: We call her Faith, she'll be 10 in february. She thinks she's becoming a fairy. She's also autistic. She wants to grow up to be a fairy that grows fruits and vegetables and gives them to people who don't have enough food.

Bink, Binky, Boogie, Boog, Tot, Silly-Lily, and about 9,000 other names: We call her Charleigh, also Chuck... She's going to be 3 this month. She's got the face of an angel.. But I'm pretty sure she's concentrated ebil. It's entertaining.. I'll give her that.

Husband Guy: I call him.. Husband Guy.. He's in school full time.. only 1 semester after this.. Getting a degree in environmental engineering. Being a dad. And the yin to my yang.. or yang to my yin.. I'm not really sure how that all works.

Then there's me.. I call myself me.. or I.. or myself... But I'm sure that you'll figure that out as we go. You're a smart cookie.. after all, you're reading this blog. *insert shit-eating-grin*

Also.. I should note.. I cuss.. I try not to in front of my kids.. but I fail sometimes.. And my kids aren't reading this.. Well, at least not yet. Maybe when they're older. Then again, maybe not. I don't really know. I'm not a psychic-mom-pokemon. (More on that later too) I am fairly certain that they won't be surprised to find that I typed cuss words sometimes. I'm not entirely sure they're going to care... *mind wanders*

My kids are amazing.. And I love them. Like.. A whole lot. But sometimes.. They are BAD MONKEYS! I do my best to laugh it off. But I'm sure I'll come here and post some rageface vent at some point. This is normal. Don't freak out. Mostly.. I think I'm going to write just our "normal" daily craziness.. Things that are noteworthy. Or funny. Or ridonk. You'll see. MY normal will be MUCH different than YOUR normal. It's ok, I'm used to it.

I don't fancy myself to be a professional writer person. But it's been mentioned that I should start a blog.. I have a blog. Several. But I forget about them sometimes... my bad. LOL. So here I am, doing the blogging thing.. Not really sure if anyone will read this, but that's ok. I've kind of decided all the crazy funny weird crap I post as facebook statuses all need to be compiled somewhere where I can look back at them and lol.. or shake my head.. or make a "wtf face". So this is mostly for me. 

In any case, I hope we can make you laugh, or scratch your head, or have deep thoughts, or change your perspective.. Or.. I don't know. Have some small impact on your life.

That's pretty much that. Stay tuned. Lots more to come, I'm sure!